I just started my new visa application. I just reorganized my entire room. I just booked a beach campsite. We all have our “recently done” moments. But it’s funny how there are certain things in life that don’t “just happen.” Sometimes we have to act to make something happen.
All three moments I mentioned above were things I did to make something more for myself — to further my life here, both socially and professionally. Yet sometimes no matter how much we act, certain things still don’t happen the way we hoped. So we have to wait. Wait and trust that there’s a plan behind all this mess and uncertainty.
Of course, of all the trips I’ve planned with my friends, it’s my birthday that I seemingly couldn’t plan right. I didn’t have the time or the mental capacity to plan for my own day in the midst of work and visa chaos. So when I was creating a Facebook event and I typed “my dream birthday-by-the-beach weekend isn’t going to happen…,” I asked myself: Really? You can’t make something happen that you really want?
We often forget to treat ourselves right. At age 21, when I had just broken up with my first boyfriend, I told myself that I wouldn’t ever wait again for someone to provide me with what I want (i.e. Ferrero Rocher chocolates) and treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Yet, sometimes I forget. No matter how many loved ones we have and how supportive they are, we have to be enough for our own selves.
But faith is the bedrock of our spirit and our community.
I believe there’s a reason why life events and decisions don’t always go the way I’d hoped. I act but I also wait. I believe God is not manipulative. I know He lets me live the life He gave me — a life that makes me happy — because He is my motivation to act and inspiration to be patient.
I just believe He is that kind of God. It’s not due to something I recently did, but it’s just how it happened for me.
Because, believe me, I’m pretty sure that He had something to do with finally opening parts of Big Sur and letting me have my dream birthday-by-the-beach weekend.